Dear Family, Friends, and Followers:

This month's entry is an edited version of my Rotary quarterly report. I know my entries are few and far between, but I have this problem of not being able to ever write short entries. Usually, my reports take me a couple days to write! Anyways...enjoy and as always feel free to comment and ask questions.

DAILY LIFE:
My everyday life is pretty much average, at least for the Turks. My typical weekday goes something like this: I wake up at the crack of dawn to get ready for school and catch my service bus; I have a gruelingly long ride on the service bus where I usually sleep or read; I go to school for 7 hours; I arrive home and shortly after it becomes dark; I eat delicious Turkish food for dinner; I do my homework if I have it; go the gym in my living complex; come home and watch some Turkish TV; and maybe go on the computer for a little bit before going to bed. On Wednesdays, I come home from school a little later because I participate in a Turkish Folk Dancing club after school.
My weekend activities vary, but there are a few things that can be counted on to happen. On Sundays we almost always have a big Turkish-style breakfast at my host mother’s café with family and friends. Weekends are always the time for me to do errands; they are almost impossible to do on weekdays because of location and time constraints. (I live far out on the Asian side of Istanbul and must travel to other parts of the city to go to the post office, go shopping, etc.) We always do something together as a family too: going to the movies, going to a café on the Bosporus, or visiting our family on the European side. In February, we (the inbound exchange students) will be starting Turkish Folk dance lessons…early morning every Saturday! Because I am in the 12th grade at school, my classmates and Turkish friends are always busy with lots of schoolwork and studying for the Turkish university entrance exam (the ÖSS). I have only spent time with my Turkish friends outside of school two or three times. But I keep a good relationship with them at school so it has not been that much of a problem. I spend time with my exchange student friends (outside of Rotary events) about once or twice a month.


FAVORITE MEMORIES

Christmas Eve
One of my absolute favorite times on my exchange so far was on Christmas eve. I started off the evening by being convinced by a street seller to buy some bootleg Armoni Code perfume (I finally said yes in a display of holiday spirit!). I wasnt that upset about it - I was more distracted by the beautiful night and calm waters of the Bogaz. A few of my exchange student friends and I were on our way to European Istanbul to go to Christmas Eve mass (mass was held in Italian too!). I will NEVER forget singing Christmas carols with them while sitting outside on a bench on the deck of our deniz otobüs (sea bus) as we crossed the Bosporus. Probably, “Jingle Bells”, “Silent Night”, and “The 12 Days of Christmas” will never happen in the backdrop of the Hagia Sophia ever again.

Eyuboglu Graduates
Second most memorable moment was at school. My class put my name on their school hoodie – Eyüboğlu Graduates. I was not paying close attention to the buzz about senior hoodies until a couple of my classmates excitedly started calling my name. “Chiara! Chiara! Look! Your name! Your name!” I looked and sure enough among all the Turkish names there was “Chiara Esther CLEMENTE”. I was so touched that it positively made my entire day, week, month, and will be something about my year that I always look back to with fondness. They had no reason to print my name on the hoodie – even though I am in 12th grade, I am not graduating from Eyüboğlu. But the fact that they did made me feel delighted and satisfied. It was like they accepted me. Even though I do not take all the classes and am always in and out of the classroom, it was like they said “Come Chiara. You’re our exchange student. We like you. You have a place with us and at this school now.” Turns out, it will also work out well for me when I go back home, because I can wear my senior hoodie to rep my Turkish school and not their ugly school uniform sweater. But really, I love my Turkish school and am really happy with the people I go to school with. I know I will have to leave behind some good friends in a couple of months.

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES/ TÜRK KÜLTÜRÜDAN NE OĞRENDİM?
The only thing keeping my everyday routine from being typical is that I am living in a new country, a new culture, with a different family, and going to a new school. I am an exchange student, which is a pretty big deal. When I first arrived, the only cultural difference I really noticed was how the Turkish people are so flexible with their time. Unlike in the U.S. where we have “chunks” of time and transition from activity to activity according to how we planned our day, the time in Turkey flows more and is treated as something that molds the rhythm of the day rather than something that people can manipulate. Even when the Turks hurry, it never seems like they are trying to “beat the clock” like we sometimes try to do in the U.S.
I have to gotten used to not knowing what exactly is going on. It is all about going with the flow. Plans are either made ahead of time and nobody tells you about it, or other times made at the last minute. I have learned to be really flexible in this culture and expect the unexpected. Anything can change at anytime. I know only what my day “could” or “might” be like, and also know that my day could turn out to be nothing like that at all. Anything goes, most things are negotiable, life happens. The Turks do not try to fight “the flow”.
Now in the middle of my exchange, I now feel myself more in tune to notice cultural differences. I am absorbing and learning at a faster rate. It’s the “Ah ha” time, according to my grandparents, where things about your culture suddenly start to make sense. I just want to touch briefly on some more things that I have learned about Turkish culture and lifestyle. Please also note that these are my views and comments based on what I have personally observed and experienced. (However, these views and comments have been verified by other exchange students who I let read this…so you can consider it approved by a youth panel of cultural experts. Kind of a funny reference to how Rotary will consider us “experts” on our host culture when we return…)
1. What government? For the Turks, government and politics seems to be a world that only exists on the TV and in the newspaper (which they follow quite well – the general population has much more awareness about news and world affairs then in the U.S.!). Since I have been here, I have felt that the Turks see no need to defer to laws or government officials. The attitude I have picked up on is that government is just one big machine that no one understands and that can’t help you. People rarely call the police. I’ve heard that they only come if someone has died. My friend told me that if you call the police with a problem or complaint that they deem unimportant, the police will actually get mad at you for calling! I thought a couple of hours later was bad (Rochester police), but if the police here do decide to respond to a call or complaint, they are known to come one, two days later, or more. People only deal with this world when they have to.
2. Kids will be kids. Since being in Turkey, I have yet to witness substantial discipline imposed on a child or teen by their parents or school. When the exchange students have talked together about our households and such, we notice we all have this in common about the family dynamics of our host parents and host siblings: our host siblings will misbehave, fail to listen, be rude or disrespectful to their parents, break a rule, and no significant punishment or consequence is given. There seems to be yelling or reprimands, but no significant disciplinary action for behavior that we would expect to be given a consequence for in the U.S. (abusing privileges, talking or acting disrespectfully, etc.) Turkish teens and kids seem to be pretty good at tuning their parents out, and then manipulating them again to get what they want. At the school level for example, a class will collectively fail to do the homework, or students will hand in assignments late, and while they will get reprimanded or lectured by their teacher, there is this general attitude of “Ohh well, we try, but what can we do? They’re just kids.” This is the same as the attitude at home. I think in the U.S. we place a high value and emphasis on teens especially to behave like adults. That emphasis is less in Turkish culture.
3. Who are they? What are they doing? And what are they wearing? The Turks are a people that pay close attention to each other. They are curious about each other. It’s uncommon to see someone in public who is completely self-absorbed. The Turks look at one another; size one another up and down paying attention to each other’s style and behavior. It is natural for them to pay attention to the people around them and take note of them. I will give an example: when some one walks into a café in Turkey, most people in the café will turn to look at them wondering who they are, what they are doing, and what they are wearing (do they have good style?). Of course, all of this happens very briefly and subtly. I did not take notice of it until my host sister asked me why in England (a similar culture to ours) people walk down the street without looking at each other, but instead look down or only pay attention to themselves. The implications of the curiosity and attention Turks give one another are seen in the way they always look stylish and presentable when they go out. Knowing that people in public will analyze the way they look and behave is a form of social control and pressure that I think is greater in Turkey then it is in the U.S. Americans have more of a mentality of “you don’t know me so you cant judge me” or “I don’t care what you think so I’m just going to be who I am” which makes them more lax. Never have I seen Turks in pajamas in public nor have I seen a crazy or rowdy group of friends at a movie theater, mall, café, etc. like I do in the U.S. That being said, it is nice to have acknowledgement from the other people that yes, you do exist. They take interest in each other because other people matter to them.
4. Do you know what city those came from?!? The Turks have a pride and love for their country that is completely independent from politics and government. They love and cherish their land, for its natural beauty, its fruits (products), and historical richness. I could learn the names of many cities in Turkey with the help of fruits, vegetables, and food. Whenever I put an apple, orange, dried apricot, hazelnut, or just about anything else in my mouth, it seems there is always a person to jump in and say “Hey! Do you know that those come from my city?!” (Many families in İstanbul have emigrated from other cities in Turkey, and are only first or second generation residents.) They love to see people enjoying the products of their land. These are a very proud people. Their love and pride gives you no choice but to love Turkey right along with them. At the same time, they will also be the first to point out some of the failures of their government or trouble in politics. However, of ALL the Turks I have talked to, no matter what the setting, I have never heard them degrade their country. Loving your country does not mean not working to fix its problems. The Turks know Turkey has problems, but they want to see it grow. They would criticize and overhaul some things if they could, especially the youth, but in the end it’s to nurture, not to destroy. And nothing ever takes away the love and pride for their land. When I think to what love for your country means to us in the US, the only images that come to mind are those of military valor. I think of all the people in the US who do what I now call “America Bashing”. It seems we have so many hateful and negative things to say about our country and much of it is based on politics (policy, politicians, etc.). I know that many things impede us from feeling the same way about our country that Turks do about Turkey. But I feel that in America we can afford to put a little love in our hearts. After all, we have made our home there.


Here's whats coming up in the next few weeks: 2-week semester break from school (yay!) and our Rotary tour to Western Anatolia!!! (DOUBLE yay!!) I will be sure to post an entry about our trip, and be sure to look for pictures!!

Love and good wishes,
Chiara

p.s. first serious snow of the year in Istanbul today!! (or at least in Cekmekoy where I live...)